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    behind_blue_eyes921  49, Female, Virginia, USA - 412 entries
03
Aug 2010
2:54 AM EST
   

What am I afraid of and why?

I am afraid of water...I can not swim and I think I am absolutely going to drown...I have tried to get over the fear but it just kicks in everytime I get near water, worse when the water is deeper....I have been this way since I was about 7 or 8 yrs old and have not been able to get over this fear yet...I almost drowned about that age...I was out back in my grandma's swimming pool, the big 3 foot pools...no one was there, I thought I would be brave and go for a swim...I started up the ladder and went to step down in to the water and thats when I went under...I was splashing and screaming...Luckily for me, my aunt's bedroom was next to the pool and she saw me and she came running and she jumped into the pool and saved me..My Aunt has cerbreal palsy, she was born with it, but she saved me that day..I am thankful that she was there that day...Ever since this incident I have been afraid of water or to even get near the water...Thats what I am afraid of...Now you know my story...Have a nice day:)
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    Sportygirl15  32, Female, Michigan, USA - 119 entries
02
Aug 2010
7:51 PM EDT
   

Why do�I always feel like Im being used? Oh wait! because I am. Silly me, how could I forget??
1 comment(s) - 12:55 PM - 08/11/2010
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    lex  43, Female, California, USA - 137 entries
02
Aug 2010
11:40 AM PST
   

It may be official

Yep so I guess it's offical that Kirby is my boyfriend hahaha! He is kind of the best. I'm a little sickly and yesterday he came to hang out and bring me tea :)� Krisitna and Justin came to visit from Hotlanta and he came out to say hi just cause I asked him too. How great is he?? I think he really likes me which is always a plus!

Lex
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    puffin902  63, Female, California, USA - 7 entries
30
Jul 2010
9:42 AM PDT
   

Anger at Doc

Okay--my endocrinologist tested my kidney function and didn't tell me the results were worse. I'm not a happy camper right now. I'm working on doing more strength training. I've been doing the wii fit for yoga and balance stuff and now I've got resistance bands to add soon for even more.
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    anwara  60, Male, Malaysia - 25 entries
29
Jul 2010
5:48 PM WST
   

@ home alone

At home alone this morning, taking a day leave from the hectic undirected activities at the office.

Waiting for a Contractor coming at 10:30am to install a new 5Mb broadband package which include cable TV.

Found 2 temporarily free apps (until end of July 2010) for my iPhone 3GS from Pzizz which may or may not help in meditation for sleep and increasing the day energy ...

Plan to spend the day, improving the somewhat cluttered state of stuff at home.
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    puffin902  63, Female, California, USA - 7 entries
29
Jul 2010
8:29 AM PDT
   

News

Well, I'm definitely in full menopause. That may explain my anxiety/anger/depression. I'm also having reduced kidney function again. Sigh.
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    we2intents  63, Male, Utah, USA - First entry!
27
Jul 2010
9:02 PM PDT
   

We made love again today in our park, it really isn't our park, in fact it belongs to a local church, it is our favorite place to meet though. Most the time we only lay on the blanket that you bring as we talk about our lives, but today it's been way to long since we've been together and I could really see the desire in your eyes, the same that I share for you in my heart. It was an amazing afternoon, the park was buzzing with activity and for the longest time we were not alone but it soon settled down to where you and I could steal our moment and quench our thirst for one another. I could lay with you face to face for a lifetime, and the park with it's trees and shrubs that obscure us from the world, seems to transport us to another reality that is painful to return. �I was sad leaving you, I could see the tear in your eye as you brushed mine away. �It's so painful to be apart but I know it is but for a short while and you will be in my arms again.
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    puffin902  63, Female, California, USA - 7 entries
28
Jul 2010
7:27 AM PDT
   

Yoga Nidra--Wow!

Got better sleep last night but I woke with a migraine at 4:45 PM. I had downloaded some meditation MP3's last night to help with the sleep issue (but didn't end up using them). After I emailed to say I wasn't going to work, I did the one on Yoga Nidra. I realized when I was about 10 minutes in that the migraine was GONE! So I got up and went to work. Too cool!
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    ragdoll53  72, Female, Indiana, USA - 4 entries
27
Jul 2010
7:11 AM EDT
   

Tell me. I have been dating a guy and only him since May of 2009. I moved in with him in March 2010. Thought that this was where I am supposed to be. But am beginning to wonder if he feels the same. He says he loves me, we do alot together, we are alike. Maybe that is the problem. But he continues to look at emails he receives from match.com and othe dating websites. I do not look at them I just put a check next to them and hit the delete key. What is going on? Have I made a mistake?
3 comment(s) - 09:12 AM - 08/05/2010
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    auxilary25  40, Female, California, USA - 32 entries
27
Jul 2010
6:31 AM EDT
   

Not what I expected....?


Yesterday you called me and told me that I didn't have to repond but that you needed to tell me that you loved me and your daughter very much. You sounded nervous when you told me, you hesitated before telling me and to be honest I had the feeling you were telling me this because you did something very bad that you knew I was going to find out about so you had to clear the air before the shit hit the fan. But that was it...that's all you said..No "I'm sorry" no "let's talk about this" no "I know it's going to take a while to redeem the trust you had in me but I'm willing to try because that's how much you and my daughter mean to me"....Nothing. I wasn't as estatic as I had hoped. I dreamnt that when you said those words to me again my eyes would get full of tears and I'd be the happiest woman alive but...No...
I was bummed in a way because I was expecting so much from this moment.

I tell myself that perhaps my expectations are too high that at least you called and told me this...that this is one step forward instead of one step backwards...but I just don't think that's really it. You ripped my heart from my chest, shattered it, as I as putting the pieces back together you ripped it again. So damn it...if when you were courting me you got me flowers EVERY week...if when you were courting me you had coffess waiting at my desk in the morning...if when you were courting me you sent me poems, teddy bears, beautiful drawings then this time you need to do that plus more! Why?? Because if you were really remorseful then you'd feel terrible for the pain you've caused me and you'd want to make it up to me...but of course now that I had your daughter you expect me to settle for the scraps you give me. You made the effort and you e-mailed HER at work..you approached her and initiated contact...so guess what??? Make the time now for your ex-fiance & the mother of your child.
Not only that, I send you a text after I said "ok thanks" and told you that this is something I'd prefer to discuss in person, that if you ever feel you want to discuss this with me to let me know. That I've invited you several times to meet me at different places so that you could see your DAUGHTER and you've never gone...if you wanted to you could've met me to see her and told me this to my face...but no you didn't do that...the man of my dreams would've...so maybe you aren't the man I fell in love with after all. What I can tell you is I won't settle for less. As much as I want to be with you I will not settle for anything less than true love and if an apology that is well deserved is too difficult for the "woman you love" then perhaps the love you have to give isn't the love my heart needs....
This is one step forward, I'll never lose hope. I'll keep hoping for the day you become the man I once loved but until then...I'm still angry at you for all the empty broken promises...and obviously that's not something you even care to heal.
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